Almost the weekend

Well, it's been a while since I blogged. I have had the best and worst day of my life, this year. Getting the worst out of the way...I had a blow up with my mother this morning...I have been staying at my sister's, and she is here, too. She gets so bossy sometimes. Today, she got mad at me because I spoke up to her...she throws all the stuff from the past at me. It's very frustrating. I just want to scream out at her all the shit that I took, growing up...and that I am an adult and not going to take it anymore. Instead, I make some comment about not being perfect, like she expects, pack up all my stuff, and leave. Only I couldn't really leave, at least not until I finished the laundry. So, I came down to the basement, and read for a bit. Granted, this all happened very early this morning. So, when the dryer was done, I folded up my clothes and then went to the office.

And now for the best....it was a good day at the office. Got alot of stuff done, plus was on SP. I sent all kinds of goodies to the different folks that I have met, on SP. Plus, I booked the hotel for St. Louis. Figured I better, seeing as Jen mentioned that they were going to stay Monday night at the same hotel...I am 100% committed. I paid my $$ and I am going. I am nervous and scared. I have never...well, I can't say never, after all I did fly to Edmonton to see Val and her hubby, after we met online and communicated for a year or so...but this is different. But, not really...These gals are great to chat with and I guess my low self esteem comes up. Especially after that blowout with my mom.

Some of my friends here in town think I am crazy. But, then they are the ones who do not "get" why I do SP, etc. I have to look back..they thought I was crazy when I went to Edmonton. But nevertheless, I am excited....I have a reliable car...at least I hope it is...it's brand new...I had a GREAT week, process serving. Made more than enough money to cover the trip. And the best part...I am going to be free, from worrying about work...the house...Jason...the cats...I am actually doing something for me!!

And, when I get back I will be housesitting for a month for J&S. Then, I will finish my house up and clean up all the mess from the breakin and settle myself into my house. Spend time at home. Figure out who I am. I spend all my time doing things...mostly for others...I need to do something for me.

And as far as my mother...well, I am going to have to deal with that, too. In time. I need her to let me go. Let me live my life..and know I am not perfect. And that I am breaking away from the dysfunction. I need to, for me!!

So, the best and worst, combined.

It feels good getting this down and out of my head.

The plan-Friday, finish up at day job and process serve as many of the new papers that I can
Friday night-go to J&S's and cover all that I will be doing in my housesitting
Saturday-get up early and process serve...until around 3:00pm or so. Go take care of cats and get them setup for the long weekend. Pack..Leave for St. Louis.

Of course, I may not get out of town until a bit later, but I'd like to drive at least 5 hours or so, then find a hotel and call it a night. Up Sunday and finish the drive. I have lots of time to see the scenery and I hope that the weather holds, and roads remain clear.

Fun!